Turning Our Shame Into Glory

Everything Jesus did in the gospels was either surprising or stunning. What happened on the mountain with Peter, James, and John is no exception. For one fleeting moment, Jesus was transfigured, unveiling His real identity before them, and it was dazzling (Mark 9:2-8). The Gospel of Mark describes His clothes radiating a brilliant, blinding light; Matthew says His face shone as the sun. The one who veiled Himself in flesh and took on the shame of the cross is briefly seen as the true King of glory.

But, alas, our stories are not filled with glory but with its counter opposite—shame. One of my more vivid moments of shame happened in the 10th grade. I had been persuaded by a friend against initial objections to go on a blind date to a high school sorority presentation. Having never worn a tuxedo, I struggled to put on the cummerbund and cufflinks, but became really perplexed when I could find no bowtie in the rental clothing. When we arrived, I saw bowties on all the young men and to my horror realized I had come incorrectly dressed. But the real moment of shame happened during the actual presentation. As I walked across the stage with my date, the spotlight hit us, and I was exposed for everyone there to see. As we walked off, I even heard several mocking voices refer to my improper attire. To make matters worse, when I got home and put the tuxedo back in the hanger, I discovered there a box I had missed containing—you guessed it—the bowtie. I felt utter self-contempt for being so stupid.

We were shamed in the presence of others and only in the presence of others can we be healed.

This story follows the same pattern of so many other stories of shame I have heard. Shame is being exposed before others as contemptible, unworthy of love and worthy of mockery. It quickly turns into hatred, either toward those shaming us, or more likely, toward ourselves. Finally, along with the hatred comes a vow never to be found in that situation again. Overall, shame is a primal sense that something is deeply flawed about us and that we must hide as a result. It is what Adam and Eve did after the Fall and what we have been repeating ever since. Shame has drastically shaped the way every man sees himself.

So how can shame turn into glory? First, we were shamed in the presence of others and only in the presence of others can we be healed. We must take the risk to tell our stories to trusted brothers, especially the shameful parts. Only then can the terror of being exposed be transformed into the delight of being known. The very thing that shamed us can now become the very thing for which we are loved. My own work with men in story groups constantly attests to this truth.

But Jesus will do the deeper work here, as we learn to give our shame as well as our sin to Him, for He bore both on the cross. He will then teach us to see ourselves through His eyes, as those in whom He fully knows, loves, and enjoys, as His own treasured brothers. We begin to taste the glory that those three disciples only saw on that mountain. It’s a glory that trumps shame now and will one day triumph over shame forever.

Bill Delvaux is a graduate of Duke University and Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and has served as a pastor and a high school Bible teacher. Presently, he leads Landmark Journey Ministries as a speaker, small group coach, and author of Divided: When the Head and Heart Don’t Agree and Landmarks: Turning Points on Your Journey Toward God. Bill and his wife have two grown daughters and reside in Franklin, TN. Follow Bill on Twitter @BillDelvaux.