The soon-to-be-released Volume 3 of “33 The Series,” A Man and His Traps”(July 1, 2013), covers brand new ground and introduces some new tools that every guy needs in his arsenal as he pursues Authentic Manhood.

Guys, too many of us are trapped in a life that will never satisfy.  We are chasing things that promise to bring us fulfillment but that never really deliver.  We find ourselves pursuing things that ultimately let us down.  Some of these things can even be otherwise good things…things like money, recreation, career, food, drink, games, hobbies, cars, trips, etc.  But, these things were never designed to be our ultimate sources of meaning and happiness.  So, ultimately, they can’t be.

Part of the problem is that too many of us don’t really understand what is going on beneath the surface.  The deep desires of our hearts.  Sometimes, we don’t even really understand what is driving them.  Here’s the deal.  These deep desires can easily become our idols, causing us to turn “good” things into “god” things.  Hoping they will give our lives meaning, but ultimately leaving us empty and confused.

Even when these idols don’t deliver, we can still be stuck and continue to chase them with some hope that they’ll finally come through.  We may really not know exactly where else to turn.  When that happens, it’s easy to begin hiding behind a mask and at least pretend that we have it all figured out.  A mask that looks like who we think we should be and not who we really are.

“33,” A Man and His Traps, helps men stare these idols and temptations in the face.  It gives us a vision for something better, something real and lasting.  And like all things “33,” it’s practical.  It begins by providing a clear framework that helps us understand what is going on below the surface…in our hearts…what’s driving us.  It moves us beyond mere behavior modification and, instead, helps us clearly identify the particular desires that are rumbling around in our hearts.  The desires that are causing us to chase these dead-ends as our source of happiness.  The framework provides real clarity for every man to better understand what his particular deep desires are.

If you’re like me, I think you’ll be surprised to learn some new things about yourself. Having been immersed in the creation of this material and applying it to my own life has shed new light on some things that have been revealed to me as idols in my heart.  One thing in particular that has become so much clearer for me is my need for significance…to be important…to matter.  As I’ve processed through this volume, I can see the idol of significance rear its ugly head in different areas like through my kids, my accomplishments, my involvement with certain things.  As I’ve been challenged to go deep and be honest, I can see how I’ve hidden it pretty well from others and even myself.  This material has helped me identify it and to pursue the freedom that comes from being honest about it with other guys, and even myself.

The good news for me, and for every man who experiences this volume, is that after doing the work of identifying what we’re struggling with and moving to a place of honesty, we introduce a biblical battle plan that helps us fight our battle with idolatry.  The battle plan gives us a clear vision on how we can replace our idols with something better.  Something truly fulfilling and real.  And it all begins with God’s grace and is centered around His gospel, the truth that He’s given it all up for us.  The truth that His way is the better way.

A Man and His Traps teaches how His truth can change us and empower us to live lives of passion and purpose. It lays all of that out for you so you can apply the battle plan to any of your particular idols and replace them with God’s best.

The material even gets specific with certain idols that most of us have to fight.  Things like control, success, sexual lust, money, fear of man issues, the need to please others, an idol of comfort.  We give you an arsenal of ammunition that will help you apply God’s truth to these particular issues.  And if you will receive it and believe it and make it part of you, it will change you.  And help you move toward replacing your idols with God’s better promises.

I can’t wait for EVERY man to experience this volume of “33.” I promise that it will encourage you and equip you in your journey toward Authentic Manhood.  It’s definitely a journey and we can’t do it alone.  Get a group of guys and experience A Man and His Traps together.  You’ll never be the same!

The post A Peek into Volume 3: A Man and His Traps appeared first on Authentic Manhood. See more posts from Steve Snider

“33 The Series” is a dynamic video series that inspires and equips men to live a life of truth, passion and purpose. It consists of multiple six- session volumes that focus on different aspects of Authentic Manhood. It can be enjoyed by individuals or groups.

Volume 3: “A Man and His Traps” helps men understand what lies behind the manhood traps and beneath the heart idols that can distract us from the truth and power of the Gospel. It helps replace temptations and struggles with God’s better promises. It deals head-on with issues like sexual lust, the need for control and the pursuit of significance.

The six sessions are:
1. Idols
2. Empty Promises
3. Battle Plan
4. XXX
5. Control
6. Significance & Comfort

Click Here to Pre-Order today!  

The noble fight against sin and temptation is not just about behavior modification. Behavior modification without heart change is dangerous!
–Tierce Green, Session 1, Volume 3

The post 33 The Series- Volume 3: “A Man and His Traps” appeared first on Authentic Manhood. See more posts from Rachel

*I have my friend Amelia to thank for the inspiration of this posts content.

“Zacchaeus was a ‘wee little man’”…

But the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10), and found him… just outside of Jericho.

“… and a ‘wee little man’ was he…” (Rom. 3:23)

Then, there was a tree.

I’ve always been challenged and impressed by the steps of courage taken by Zacchaeus. I cant get past the plethora of reasons why Zacchaeus could have not climbed the tree. The insecurities and pride that must have gotten in his way (not to mention the people who probably didn’t want him to succeed!) from taking that step had to be enormous. But he took that large step of initiation! Or what appears to be initiation…

But, there was a tree. And the tree changed everything.

Please begin to consider all the little intricate details that had to go into this situation in order for it to occur. The sycamore is a great tree for a short man to try and climb. It has low branchings, yet is tall enough to see over a large crowd. How did that specific tree, get in that specific place, and specifically where Jesus was going to be teaching? Zacchaeus has the ability to climb-lucky him.There are so many things that could have eliminated that tree from the picture. And yet, it is there. And who created the sycamore, Zacchaeus, his abilities to climb, hear, see, and so-on-so-forth?

God. So, who really initiated? (Ephesians 1; John 17)

So often, I think that initiation is something that has to originate solely in myself. That the calling of a man to initiate, really begins with me. That I am the “Alpha” (Rev. 22:13). When in actuality, my initiation is a response. It is a response to the initiation of a loving God through many avenues.

For Zacchaeus: the interests of a crowd caught his attention, the Divinity of Jesus kept his attention, the tree enabled him to focus his attention, and the voice of Jesus called him to attention. Zacchaeus’ initiation was a response.

Therefore, the challenge for us as men is not to see something that doesn’t exist and initiate. To make something from nothing. Rather, it is to see what God has initiated, and RESPOND with further initiation. To see the tree God has put before us, and have the courageous obedience and chutzpah to climb it!

I have often wondered what would have become of Zacchaeus (or will become of myself), had he not been looking for the window of opportunity to hear/see Jesus. But now I am struck with wonder as I meditate on the gracious pursuit through a small detail that gave Zach far more than he set out for (he MET Jesus). How many of these small, intricate, and loving details have taken place in my life? How many more will occur? And how will I now view the world around me as I live in light of that reality?

This truth changes the way I interact with my environment.

Take heart that God has initiated, is initiating, and will initiate. Guidance is something that God not only gives, but DOES. See the tree, and respond. See the old trees God has placed in your path, and praise Him. Choose to no longer see the world as a place of coincidence, because we serve a deliberate and loving God.

Much like a future tree that would change the world (I Peter 2:24), it’s value lies in the initiating grace of a loving, powerful, sovereign, and relentless God. Zacchaeus WAS a little man, but is no longer.

“… And a tree-tall man IS he.”

Passages: Luke 19; 1 John 4:19; Romans 3; Ephesians 1; John 17

PS: a sycamore fig tree’s leaves… are heart shaped.

The post Wee Man, Turned Tree-Tall Man appeared first on Authentic Manhood. See more posts from Jake Collins

I had no idea what she was talking about.

On the calendar it says, “Starbucks with Dad.” It’s my time to connect individually with each of the kids. Before school we head to buy really expensive latte’s. I brewed mine at home so my kids don’t drink away my paycheck.

But $5.00 a week seems a small investment for quality daddy time. $7.00 for Brantley. She has expensive tastes.

As Brantley talked about instagram and some other photo app called snap click or pop write or kick photo – it lets you send a photo and write on it. I think that’s what she said. Easy. I need to get it on my phone. If Brantley can find a job where she takes pictures of herself all day and posts them she’ll be set for life. Every time I plug in my ipad I get new photos…of Brantley. Usually looking at the camera with psychedelic enhancements.

“Look at what this guy did with his picture!”

Guy, why are you looking at some random guy’s picture. “It’s really funny dad, do you see it?” I can’t see it. I’m trying to drive. “He flared his nostrils and made his face glow!” Who is he? Why is he funny?

Enough of funny guy’s photo. “Brantley tell me three words about yourself.”

“I can’t. I tried at church. I don’t know.”

“I think you’re experiential.”

“What?”

“You love being in the moment. You love certain settings.” In other words, I didn’t say, you’re like me.

“Well, I do like to control things.”

“Like what?”

“Well if I’m in a group I end up being the one who does stuff cause everyone else is quiet.”

“That means you’re a leader. You take control. That’s a good thing.”

She shrugged.

“I think you’re romantic.”

“What?!@!”

“Not in a relationship sort of way – but you love the ideal. You already see what you want to do with my (your eventual) 99 Honda Civic. You want a light for the mirror and a plush pink steering wheel cover. You want to have your latte’s by the fire. You dream of the perfect experiences. You want everything to be just right.”

I didn’t tell her that means she’ll see me as dashing her dreams when I block her from going on a date with that boy or from heading up to NYC with her girlfriends at age 17. I didn’t tell her that someone will break her heart to pieces. She’ll crave, live, and pursue the ideal and reality will drop kick her in the stomach. But when the dream comes true…when you fly across the world pursuing one woman, when you finish the book, when you climb the mountain, you, as romantic, fly in air unattainable for those walking in cement shoes of pragmatism.

We were first in line at the carpool lane. We had 30 minutest to kill. I wanted to talk about God. We ended up playing Harry Potter trivia. I nailed the Griffyndor round but fell flat on Slytherin.

We listened to a mix of Switchfoot, Taylor Swift, and Toby Mac.

She had a devo app and so we read today’s. It talked about Jesus condescension to earth. That sounded a lot like condensation. She erupted into the evaporation, condensation, run off, jingle from earth science.

So Jesus came down. He dropped in on the shepherds. He spent time with the dropouts, dead beats, and unknowns. He entered into our world.

I wonder if he felt as uncomfortable as I do when I try to enter hers.

I wonder if he felt as uncomfortable as I do when I try to enter hers. I’m not the dad I want to be. They’re unmasking the dad they imagined me to be. But I’m their dad. I pray I point them to a better Dad.

The post Tales from a Somewhat Intentional Dad appeared first on Authentic Manhood. See more posts from Brian Goins

I am a worrier. I can get so deep inside of my head worrying about anything and everything. Lately, I have been consumed with the reality that my children are growing up and I can’t stop it. You see they are young and this harsh broken world hasn’t beat on them that hard yet. I know that some boy is going to break my daughters heart and my son will find out that his dad is not the strongest man on earth. I am terrified.

These sorts of emotions can be overwhelming and at times can cause us as men to become so fearful of life that we freeze and instead of leading we do nothing. Men who do nothing many times are more dangerous than men who try and fail.

I want to lead. I don’t want be frozen from fear.

I want to lead. I don’t want to be frozen from fear.

I want to be there strong and steadfast when that boy breaks my daughters heart. How? How do I break this cycle of fear?

Every once and a while God will give me moments of clarity. From time to time I will read verses in the bible like Psalm 8:1, “O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the earth.” and I get it.

God in his loving kindness gives His children comfort by revealing His majesty and glory.

God in His loving kindness gives His children comfort by revealing His majesty and glory.

In these moments I can stand with David as he wrote in Pslam 27:1, “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid.”

In my life there are 3 primary situations where God gives me this clarity:

1. Great family moments.
These great family moments revolve around us doing some sort of activity together. A random trip up into the mountains, going to the public swimming pool, or treating the family to dinner out instead of staying in. I have to be intentional during these times. I must turn of the phone and immerse my self into my wife and kids lives.

2. Great brotherly moments.
These great brotherly moments come when I get some time with men that I love and I know love me. Sometimes we pray for each other and have a deep conversation and other times it looks like watching a football game together and the only real conversation is trash talk.

3. Great contemplative moments.
For me this looks like sitting in my favorite coffee shop in Boulder by the front window as I read my bible and watch the people of my city walk by.

These are sustaining times. God gives me these nuggets of grace and I am thankful because without them the fears that I have would be crushing and I don’t think I could make it.

These times do not come easily and they can go as quickly as they come. An email, text, wondering eye, or thoughts of what needs to be done at work can steal these moments from us. We must fight for these experiences. It will take planning and intentionality on our part.

So my question for you is this, what moments does God give you to show you His majesty and glory and are you being intentional about entering into them?

The post Frozen from Fear appeared first on Authentic Manhood. See more posts from Matt Patrick

My mom, Jade Yong died Thanksgiving night, just a few months ago.  We knew it was coming.  After all, based on percentages, only 25% of pancreatic cancer patients make it to five years.  And she was diagnosed 4.5 years ago.

It was gut wrenching to see her that Thanksgiving morning. Unresponsive. Breathing incredibly labored.  Monitor alarms were sounding off left and right, screaming about my mom’s lack of blood pressure.  But it was already that time.  The nurses had no need to rush in with crash carts and emergency protocol.  We just hit the mute button.  This was the end, and we knew we would never hear my mother’s voice again.

But, by the grace of God, right after my dad decided with the doctor to administer morphine in hopes of making her last breaths more comfortable, she woke up.  In God’s mercy to us all, we had our last conversation with her – to hear a little what was on her heart, and to express a little of what was on ours.

And I pray the words she whispered will echo down from generation to generation. There in her bed, between difficult and staggered breaths, she prayed her last prayer.   Echoing the prayer of her Lord, she prayed,

“God’s will be done.”

She didn’t pray that with the slightest hint of resentment, or resignation.  No.  She prayed those words confidently, trustingly, and hopefully.

No doubt it was a prayer of a frail woman.  But a frail woman who entrusted herself into the hands of the all powerful, all sovereign, and good God.

But the prayer wasn’t the only window that revealed the burning in her soul.  Almost in effort to reassure us, and to calm us in our fears she said,

“God’s grace taught me how to live.

God’s grace taught me how to die.”

The disposition of her heart as communicated in these final spiritual words, makes us ask some questions: How did she do that?  How did she, with her diagnosis and dyer prognosis, look at the future, and not get stuck mourning the present or the past, but instead, even in the face of death, hope in God?

The answer: she lived not for life, or the blessings of life, but for Christ.

Knowing Jesus was the essence, the aim, and the end of her earthly life.

Knowing Jesus was the essence, the aim, and the end of her earthly life.

Unfortunately, that hope seems foreign to many of us.   In fact, it seemed foreign to mom in her seasons of deepest struggle.  But thank God, that even in the midst of struggles, her hope persevered, and her hope was preserved.

This hope may be foreign to us, but it need not remain that way.  In the seas of sorrow and grief, we have the shoulders of giants to keep us afloat – just as mom did.  Her giant was the missionary Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament.  Among his most famous quote, Philippians 1:21 captures His hope, and the essence of his life, even in death. 

“For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain”

Dying is Gain?

You may think, “How insensitive! How can you speak of death being gain at your own mother’s funeral?”

I understand the reaction.  It’s in moments like these that we come face to face with the fact that death takes.  Grief pierces deepest, and sorrow rises above our heads.  We know sadness – as we see our loved one suffer. We know grief as our loved one dies.  The mourner’s world stops yet the rest of the world goes on.  But mourner yearns all the more, waking up to a side of the bed that will never be warmed again.  Or a passenger seat that will forever remain empty.  A toothbrush that ought to be wet.  It’s in these moments that the pain of death is obvious.  Death takes.

How can death ever be gain?

It is because the Christian lives for something greater than life itself.

Live for Something Greater

If all mom ever lived for, strived for, and grasped after, was life itself or the blessings of life like a perfect marriage, a good name, her children’s education or success, grandchildren, or financial security – then you are right – death would finally have been a taker.

Why?  Because as death approaches, it leaves life and life’s things finally out of your reach.  Out of your grasp.  You can spend all your life’s energy striving, and grasping after life, or life’s things.  And you may even reach those things, and hold them, in your hands.  But friends, when death comes it leaves life and life’s things out of your reach.  And who is left, once again, striving, clenching, grasping at the air.  Death takes.

when death comes it leaves life and life’s things out of your reach

Paul Lives for Christ and so death is Gain

But for Paul, life and life’s things, were not ultimate.  What does he say?  “To live is Christ.”  In all that he did, he did for Christ, and the good news of Jesus.  If you read his letters in the New Testament, it is clear that his priority was knowing Jesus and seeing that others would know him as well. He delighted in Jesus, the Son of God, who came in the flesh.  The one who rescues and brings forgiveness and new life by dying on the cross for those who believe and follow him. Paul, who considered himself the “chief of sinners”, knew and experienced this salvation, and so he exhausted himself for his Savior.  “To live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

Life & death: The Stage

What then are we to make of the circumstances of life?  Of life and death? Life and death, the plot points of life, build the stage on which we honor Christ.  Whether in life, or in death, all is for Christ.  These are scenes in a believer’s life in which he can display the fact that Christ far surpasses all other things.

As I saw my mom live through joys and disappointments, struggles and successes, I saw a woman who knew, learned to know, strived to know the surpassing worth of Jesus.

She was a woman who though she knew no earthly father, came to trust in a Heavenly Father, the comforter and lover of her soul.  When family situations at home were trying, she learned to find her identity, not in family, but in God.  In her weakness, she looked at the face of death, and trusted in the Rescuer.  In sickness, she entrusted herself to the one who makes all things new.  And in her sin, guilt and shame, she trusted in the Lord who restores and provides forgiveness.

She honored Christ on the stage of life and death.

Death is Gain in Christ

We could come away from this thinking, “Wow, look at Paul’s faith.”  Or, “Wow, look at Jade’s faith.  Her faith really helped her in times of difficulty.”  Don’t get me wrong, that’s absolutely true!  Her God-given faith was amazing.  But what is to amaze us most when Paul writes, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain,” is the object of faith – the Savior Jesus Christ.

Death is actually gain because of who Jesus Christ is, and what he has done on the cross.

Death is actually gain because of who Jesus Christ is, and what he has done on the cross.  This Jesus won for Paul, and for my mother, salvation from sin, and life from the dead.

This is man’s universal need.  We need our wrongs made right.  We need life where there is death.  Our conscience tells us this.  Our grief and sorrows scream it even now – “This is not the way it was meant to be.”

Why is that?  It’s because of sin.  In the beginning, God created man good, without sin, and we had a perfect relationship.  God provided man with boundaries in which to live.  The problem was man chose to redraw those boundaries with disregard for God.  And the Bible says this disregard for, and discontentedness with God is sin, wrongdoing.  The consequence of sin was death and judgment.

The question then becomes, how can we have a restored relationship with God, and escape death and judgment?  The amazing thing is – where man creates the problem, God provides the solution.  In God’s grace, and in His mercy, he provides a way out: Jesus Christ.  God provided his eternal Son to lived the life we couldn’t, in complete obedience to the Father.  He also died the death we deserved, taking his people’s sin upon himself.  “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him would not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

The Apostle Peter wrote that this hope of eternal life, in no matter the circumstance, is a “living hope” (1 Peter 1:3).  Even in the face of death, the hope that Christ won for us is living.  Is it because we here today are so strong?  So resilient to maintain our positive outlook?  Because in the face of death we can rise above all odds?  No!  Christians have a living hope “through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” (1 Pet 1:3 ).

In the face of death, that is what gave my mom a living hope.  She knew that “to be apart from the body, is to be present with the Lord” (2 Cor 5:8).  And she knew her Savior got up from the dead, defeating death and sin.  But the Bible says there’s more.  The Bible teaches that when Christ returns, the “dead in Christ” will be raised to be with him (1Thess 4:13-18).  For the Christian death is gain.  Death may in some sense take now, but when Christ comes, to finally destroy sin and death’s grip on us, who is left grasping, clenching after the air?  Death and the devil.

Death may in some sense take now, but when Christ comes, to finally destroy sin and death’s grip on us, who is left grasping, clenching after the air? Death and the devil.

This hope, this forgiveness, this promise of new life, is for everyone who turns from his sin and believes in Christ.   This hope was my mom’s hope.  When death comes, what will be your hope?  Turn from your sins, and trust in him who is the living hope.

The post God’s Grace Taught Me How to Live, God’s Grace Taught Me How to Die appeared first on Authentic Manhood. See more posts from Jeremy Yong

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

-Ephesians 2:10

Many people have asked me recently why I dropped medical school, and in light of the current “gauntlet” of finals and resulting conversations with students about school, studying, and career-I thought it appropriate to write about what specifically God did within my heart during this tough process. What I have been given (after continual failure) is a new way of making choices regarding career decisions that I feel ALL young adults would be wise to apply.

What Question was I asking?

It’s what I believe to be the most overrated, overused, misused, abused, and misguiding question that is on every college student and young adult’s mind (I may be biased). It’s usually the first thing that someone asks you in college (following your name) when meeting you. Yet, many live and die never answering it. It is a question that many before our time never asked, but no college student today has to be trained to ask it to themself or anyone else. Most seniors want to cry the moment they are asked it, they loathe it, and yet no one asks it more than they do to themselves. So what is the question?

• What do I (you) want to DO?

Yes! That’s it! What do I want to do with my life? (insert the sounds of babies crying, nails scratching boards, and bombs exploading)

Now, I want to begin by saying that this is not a bad question. We are not wrong or evil for ever asking what we should do with our energy and lives. It is a natural question and should be asked. And these reflections and realizations regarding this question have been mostly revealed in my own struggles with idolatry and a lack of trust in God’s provision and love.

these reflections and realizations regarding this question have been mostly reveled in my own struggles with idolatry and a lack of trust in God’s provision and love

This is a question that I obsessed over for several years and while I thought there were few in the same perceived struggle, I began to realize I am only one of a majority. I focused on this question for years and when I answered it, I never liked my answers because they conflicted with what I thought my motives should be. And I was right… my motives were WAY off.

What Question God led me to:

• What kind of man do I want to BE?

Rather than focusing on what I want to DO, I realized I should be spending way more time making decisions based upon who I want to BE. The moment I began to frame my whole decision process upon who I want to be, my decisions found totally different results. I am naturally going to pursue what I want to do, but I need to be reminded to focus on the kind of man I want to be- like Jesus Christ. A new perspective was needed. I am not what I do. I do what I am. My works do not produce identity. Instead, God’s work produced identity within me. It is not by works, but by workmanship (Eph. 2:8-10) that I have received identity. And it is from this identity I have received that I must act and do.

So if my DOING comes from my BEING… I should probably focus a lot more on making decisions how my identity (new in Christ) says I should make them, rather than trying to make an identity from a job.

How this Played Out:

My attempts to pursue and stick with medicine were deeply rooted in my attempts to be viewed as important in the world. By gaining money, fame, power, and prestige… I had unknowingly been trying to find self-justification. I could live in comparison to other people and make myself feel better about my sinful and desparate condition… rather than relying totally upon the gospel.

When I asked what I wanted to do- medicine lined up perfectly! I wanted to have lots of money, power, prestige, AND be a man who loved the Lord and represented Him well (I John 2:16-18). The problem is that we know a man cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6), and when you ONLY ask what you wish to do… every human being will naturally want to pick things that are not in mutual allegiance. I unknowingly was serving money, power, etc. rather than the Lord ALONE.

Once faced with a decision, I now ask “If I choose option A over B-will I be moving towards being the kind of man God has designed for me to be”? In this case, I realized that for me to continue pursuing medicine was to take a step towards being a man who sacrificed his family, relationships, and soul on the alter of money, importance, and prestige. Why? Because that was what I would have been (personally) choosing to serve with that given decision to stay. I had fears rooted in never being important, smart, powerful, etc. Therefore, I dropped medical school. I will not be a man who worships his ego, prestige, money, and importance…. because that IS NOT the man God made me to be.

I was an ipad trying to be a frisbee. It worked…but not to my true design.

I had been sacrificing my TRUE design and skills to pursue what my society claims to be important and successful. I was an ipad trying to be a frisbee. It worked… but not to my true design.

What Now?

What if we as a Christian body quit asking and encouraging one another to be focusing and deciding SOLELY by what we want to do, but instead-focus on who we are supposed to be with every given decision? If my aim and purpose was no longer to encourage and help students simply find what they want to do with their hands, but ALSO challenge their hearts to both know and become who they should be and subsequently – DO OUT OF THEIR BEING?

Try and tell me who you are without telling me what you do. Who do you want to be? What kind of man do you want to be? Please join me in prayer and reading the words/will of God to determine who we are in Him. Then make our life’s decisions based upon that identity.
References: Psalm 72:18-20; 119:31-36; Prov. 8:9-11; I Peter 4:2-4; I John 2:16-18

The post Asking The Wrong Question appeared first on Authentic Manhood. See more posts from Jake Collins

Valentine’s Day  or your anniversary is not the only day you should remember to date your wife.
(The following is a except from Justin Buzzard’s book, Date Your Wife)

Vows aren’t automatic. Vows aren’t magic. Vows don’t keep themselves. Men, it’s up to us to keep the vows we spoke to our wives.

vows aren’t automatic. Vows aren’t magic. Vows don’t keep themselves.

Every morning I see that black-and-white picture of our wedding day. Every time I look at that picture I remember the vows I spoke to my wife. I love my wife so much. I always will. Come hell or high water, I’m keeping my vows. Doing so requires God’s power and a good plan.

We are seeking to do for our wives what God has already done for us. When we least deserved it, God started a relationship wish us and spoke vows of love over us. He began planning his relationship with us long before he created us.

We are seeking to do for our wives what God has already done for us.

Think about it. God has made vows with you that he plans to keep, no matter what. Remember the vows God has made to you, remember the vows you have made to your wife, and come up with a fresh plan for how to keep those vows- how to date your wife.

When I passed by you again and say you, behold, you were at the age for love, and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow  to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord God, and you became mine. (Ezek. 16:8)

The following are a few ideas of how to Date Your Wife:

• Make dinner for your wife.
• Remind your wife of the gospel.
• Do something with your wife that both of you are scared to do.
• Lose a marriage fight. Let your wife win.
• Detect the one thing you do that most annoys your wife and stop doing it.
• Cuddle your wife.
• Watch the kids and send your wife out to a local coffee shop.
• Set a weekly date night. Each week rotate going out and staying in for your date.
• Give your wife a massage.
• Criticize your wife less. Compliment your wife more.

For more ideas pick up a copy of  Date Your Wife.

The post Remembering Your Vows appeared first on Authentic Manhood. See more posts from Justin Buzzard

I always planned to be the first guy to ask my daughter out on a date. I wanted to show her how it’s supposed to be done. You know, set the bar really high to eliminate some of the losers in her future! That was the plan. I just didn’t know that day would come so soon. You have all these principles, promises and plans in place but you have to stay flexible, adaptable. That’s because parenting is a moving target and teaching opportunities pop up when you least expect them.

i always planned to be the first guy to ask my daughter out on a date…

Our daughter, only three-years-old at the time, stood on her tiptoes peeking at a collection of wedding pictures hanging above the chest by our bed. Her eyes grew wide when she recognized her mommy in a wedding dress and her daddy in a tux.

“Mommy, what are those pictures?”

My wife could have simply answered “those are our wedding pictures” and left it at that. After all, our daughter was only three. But, she paused for a moment and responded with what I thought was a perfect one-sentence answer.

“That’s the day Daddy gave me a ring and promised to love me always.”

Our daughter replied, “Oh … ” and was off to the next thing on her agenda. Several days later, there she stood again gazing curiously at our wedding photos.

Same question: “Mommy, what are those pictures?”

Same answer:  “That’s the day Daddy gave me a ring and promised to love me always.”

There were a few more exchanges just like that until one day something unexpected happened. She asked the same question but this time my wife responded with a different answer, actually a question to see if she remembered.

“Mommy, what are those pictures?”

“What did I tell you they were?”

“That’s the day Daddy gave you a ring and promised to love you always.”

remember, parenting is a moving target.

That was a pretty incredible moment. We hit the target! We succeeded in teaching her the real value behind the pictures. They weren’t just images documenting a wedding event. They were reminders of the day her Daddy made a promise to her Mommy, a promise to love her always. That should be enough, right?  But, remember, parenting is a moving target. You’ve got to be ready to adjust your aim because it can shift at any moment. And so it did …

“Mommy, do you think Daddy will give ME a ring one day?”

It was probably a good thing I wasn’t there when it happened or I would have broken down and cried like a baby. You see, I’ve been wrapped around her little finger ever since the day she wrapped her tiny hand around my little finger. I had to get that girl a ring! But, I wanted it to be more than just a ring because she not only wanted a ring; she wanted a promise, a promise that I would love her always.

So I made trip to James Avery.

I found the perfect little silver ring with a tiny heart on it. Then I asked her out on a date to Johnny Rockets, just the two of us. She gave me a BIG smile and a BIG yes! Her eyes lit up when I told her that she would need to pick out a special dress for the occasion. It was hamburgers, fries and shakes but this was special, our first father-daughter date.

Our waitress pulled out all the stops with balloons, pictures, special attention and special milkshakes. She said it reminded her of some of the dates she experienced with her dad growing up.

After dinner we walked over to the plaza area of Market Street and found a spot next to one of the water fountains. As soon as I revealed the tiny gift bag she knew immediately what it contained. It was a priceless moment. Better than a MasterCard commercial.

it was a priceless moment. better than a mastercard commercial.

As I placed the ring on her finger I explained that this ring means three things …

“I promise to love you always, no matter what. I promise to always love your Mommy, no matter what. And, God will always love you, no matter what.”

I designed a card with photos from that first date and those three promises, plus a few extra thoughts that she will understand later. She has one displayed in her room and I have one in my office. Does that seem like a lot for a three-year-old to process? Well, every time that ring has been on her finger and people ask about it, she tells them exactly what it means …

“This means that my Daddy will always love me, and he will always love my Mommy, and God will always love me, no matter what!”

At this writing, our daughter is eight years old and in second grade. She’s really growing up way too fast. Not too long ago she lost her ring when she took it off to wash her hands at a restaurant. We retraced our steps later with no luck.

Well, you know what I did. I made another trip to James Avery. It was really another teaching moment. You see, the ring is just a symbol. She may lose this ring, too. She will definitely outgrow it. But, she will never lose or outgrow those three promises.

The post Date Your Daughters appeared first on Authentic Manhood. See more posts from Tierce Green

Met with one of my brothers the other morning and we had a good time checking in on one another.  This guy is a talented young preacher.  Maybe even freakishly gifted.  And he’s hungry to show what he can do.  As well as he should be.  In fact, he has all the intangibles that make you excited about his future.  Yet he knows and I know as well that for this season of his life concerning preaching and/or pastoral ministry, God’s got him in a neutral gear.  In other words, God wants him to be ready to drive, but his time to drive hasn’t come yet.  What I was so proud of though was that he totally understood that the Lord has him in neutral for good reasons and he wants to honor God during this season of waiting his turn.

I’ve been there.  Who am I kidding?  I’m there now!  Truth is, ALL of us will have areas in our lives and our ministries where God hasn’t released us to ‘do all we could do’ but simply keep those engines in neutral and be ready.  Sure we ‘think’ we could run at full speed.  And perhaps that’s true.  But there are some lessons that we just CAN’T learn while in the saddle.  We learn them when we’re backstage, in the background, in obscurity.  Lessons like patience and character aren’t microwaved.  They’re baked.  So the important thing is to treasure the season you’re in, because it’s a God-willed season.  God is just as big backstage as He is onstage.  Never forget that.  Secondly, learn all you can.  While you’re backstage that’s the time to learn those things that are caught and not taught.

This isn’t new to us of course.  The Bible is full of examples of faithful # 2’s that we can learn from.  Joshua is nothing without 40 years at Moses’s side doing what he was told and faithfully waiting on his turn.  Elishah performed twice as many miracles as his predecessor Elijah.  But not before faithfully serving in the background.  Timothy was a timid leader before and during his encounters with his mentor Paul.  But because he was a faithful follower, he finished well with a bold and courageous ministry.  Here are things to remember and some applications to consider during the process of waiting our turn.

Every leader worth his salt spent time backstage:  Any leader who’s worth following can speak at length about what it was like for their season of waiting.  Moses spent 40 years in Midian tending sheep with no one knowing or caring who he was.  God waited until his 40th year of total obscurity before he entrusted him with the deliverance of a nation.  Joshua spent 40 years at Moses’ side being #2.  David was anointed King and went right back to tending sheep.  A while later he slew a giant and went right back to tending sheep until he was called into Saul’s court.  And so forth.  Every leader God called he usually called to a lesser role first.  You know the leaders who don’t honor this time.  They’re usually overly frustrated, egotistical, and terribly insecure…and usually…unsuccessful.

Nobody Wants A Leader That Doesn’t Honor This Season:  Think about it.  Do ‘you’ want to follow someone that hadn’t learned to follow?  Do ‘you’ want to sit under leadership that hasn’t been tested this way?  Didn’t think so.  Others don’t want that either.

While You’re Waiting Serve Like Crazy:  Watch Joshua and Elishah and David.  These guys understood that a backstage position is not an off position.  Understand that God has a plan for your life tomorrow.  But he sure has a plan for you today as well.  Some of you reading this are in such obscure positions that you’re sure no one sees your service.  Maybe that’s the point.  Perhaps God wants you to learn how to exude faithfulness when the only one that cares is the only one who’s always watching:  God.  This isn’t rocket science.  Get on a setup team or some other avenue of service in your church or neighborhood.  Ask where the most help is needed.  Do the little things.  One more thing…when you do get ‘there’…don’t forget how you got there.  The people need to see a leader who doesn’t mind doing the little things from time to time.

While You’re Waiting Study the Leaders:  I laugh when I think of Joshua watching Moses lead for 40 years.  There had to be a myriad of “Red Sea” days where he had to think, “Now there’s no way I could pull that off like he just did.”  At the same time I’m sure there were “Ticked Off So I Hit a Rock” days where he thought, “Now I’ll be sure NOT to do that when it’s my turn!”  Our leaders teach us what’s possible and because we’re all human, they teach us what not to do as well.  A wise man will study the leaders and rehearse what his decisions might’ve been in that leader’s situation.  One more thing…if there’s a leader that doesn’t mind spending some time with you, beg questions of him like crazy and soak as much wisdom up as you can.

While You’re Waiting Don’t Forget to Enjoy Yourself & Try Different Things:  I have to remind myself of this often.  But don’t forget to have a life!  Don’t forget to exhaust your energies on developing different skills and interests.  Leaders get the opportunity to drill down into 1 or 2 areas that are essential if they are to lead well.  Though someone in waiting should practice some of this, truth is you get to continue trying out different things, different pursuits, different styles, different whatever to continue figuring it out until it’s your time. And guess what?  THIS IS FUN!  A waiting season doesn’t have to be painful or boring.  It’s one of the FEW seasons in life you’ll have to be all over the place and that be exactly what you should be doing!  Enjoy!

The post The Background…Honoring Your Waiting Season appeared first on Authentic Manhood. See more posts from Ricky Jenkins