“Daddy, I’m done!”
I was about to bust. I had just sat down, thinking the kids were finally asleep. So, naturally, I paused and – as absurd as it sounds – hoped those words came from the television. The nagging words came again, “Daddy, I’m done!”
Sitting deep in my favorite spot on the couch, I thought, “I worked a long hard day. I had to manage the family at dinner. I had to put the kids down. And I just plopped in front of the television. Now this?!”
The words came a third time: “Daddy, I’m done!”
“Surely God, I was made for something greater than this!”
Down the hallway I stomped and there I stood in front of my kid on his porcelain throne. This must have been the thousandth time I needed to wipe his rear end. And frankly, I didn’t want to! I looked up to heaven, and threw my hands up and yelled (in my head and heart at least), “Surely God, I was made for something greater than this!”
Though that was years ago, I still feel the sting of from that incident. Ouch!
Without a doubt, that was one of my low points in parenting. I wanted so badly to embrace passivity and reject responsibility- by not caring for my little one. And I wanted so badly to lead and invest selfishly- by caring for myself instead!
Sadly, my prayer protest to God revealed what I really thought of my God-given mission to care for my son in that moment: I want to abandon my God-given mission because serving myself is of greater importance.
Whether you have children or not, you may be able to identify with such behavior.
Here’s a breakdown of what was in my heart:
“Surely God…” Anyone who starts a sentence with the word “surely” is in for trouble, especially if that sentence is directed towards God. I’m pretty sure demanding that God answer our rhetorical questions is not commended in the Bible. Nevertheless, my question/statement revealed my pride, a complaining heart, not to mention a deep distrust in God, His plan, and His mission. My heart said, “Surely God, you made a mistake on this one! It must be, you wrongly assigned this task to me.”
“…I was made…” In my pride, not only did I protest, but I followed up my protest by reminding God what He made me for. Clearly, I thought I was the “Creator.” My heart said, “Don’t you know God, I am underutilized, and not being used to my full potential? If you would just align your opinion of me, with my opinion of me, we wouldn’t be having this problem!”
“…for something greater than this…” In my make-believe kingdom, the task of cleaning and wiping my son’s butt was clearly beneath me. In my own estimation, I was destined for “greatness” – solving the world’s problems, world hunger, the sex trade, and whatever else I couldn’t think of at the moment.
What a fool I was!
I was so proud: wanting to run my own life, according to my own desire, thinking I knew best.
I was so selfish: hijacking God’s mission for me to be a blessing to others, and seeking to bless only myself.
I was so pathetic: God cares for the helpless, and there I stood in front of my helpless son, finding such care dull, tedious, and mind-numbing.
Thank God for conviction. Thank God for His grace, mercy, and forgiveness. As I said, He certainly helps the helpless- namely me!
What can help us pursue our God-given mission to live freely and fully for Him?
- Ditch your delusions of earthly grandeur. I’ll be honest. My protest prayer stemmed from a cold heart that didn’t want to be inconvenienced – and that, by my own son. Ugh.In the moment, caring for someone other than myself was an inconvenience. And all the grand things “greater than this”, basically amounted to: a) being left alone, b) to watch my show, c) with an ice-cold beverage in one hand, and the remote in the other.But, even if God calls us to far-reaching positions of leadership, He never intends for us to neglect our most foundational responsibilities- such as loving Him and our families. Even King David, though he had a kingdom to protect and enemies to confound, created a tender family atmosphere that left a lasting impact on his son Solomon (Prov 4:3-4).Reject passivity. Let’s ditch our delusions of grandeur. Instead, lets joyfully and determinedly accept our God-given mission, relying on His power for strength to fulfill it.
- Trust that true significance is found in God’s design and mission for you. I don’t think it’s too difficult to make the point that we’ve reached a personal low when we think greatest significance is found in doing what we want, when we want, and taking no junk from no one as we do it. Chasing a significance rooted in our own designs will only take us as high as our heads will reach.But true, and ultimate significance is found living for God, and fulfilling his mission for us.Every opportunity to interact with our kids is an opportunity to display a little bit of the character of God, even when cleaning up after them. Can you believe it? That’s why God made men and women in “His own image”, to image him to our children, and the world (Gen 1:26)As fathers, we are to image the Father, to our kids. Now that’s a weighty calling. As Christians, we are to love our children, as God has loved us: self-sacrificially, personally, and passionately in Jesus Christ.Living in that reality, standing in front of a helpless and needy 3 year old on his porcelain throne, becomes an opportunity, a calling, and mission to display the Father’s always selfless, always patient, always-gonna-show-up love.
What a mission! God has called many a man to invest in their children eternally. Let’s lead courageously, in the strength of Christ, who loved us needy and desperate people, and who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross to clean up our mess, once and for all.
About Jeremy Yong
Jeremy Yong serves as a pastor of First Baptist Hacienda Heights (Los Angeles Metro area), and is an adjunct theology professor at Biola University. Prior to returning to his home state of California in 2011, he served as associate pastor of the United Christian Church of Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Jeremy is married to Melanie, and they have four children (and those children have two bearded dragons).
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Jeremy:
I understand your goals but you look like a bully the way you say it.
Men aren’t working the hours they are to become VP they are doing it to keep their jobs. And therein lays the problem. Most of the men you are talking to are very competent men but they are being pushed way beyond what they should so the company can make a profit. They are being pushed to do things Christians shouldn’t do and family time is only part of it. They are being asked to lie to customers and pad sales to meet the increasing quotas that will get them fired if they don’t met them. And the list goes on.
Men need to realize that God doesn’t want them in a situation like that and they need to trust God and start looking for a way out from employers like that. I was working for a major telephone company (yes that one) and was being pushed like that. I would work 8 to 10 hours per day plus 45+ minute drives to and from work. Evenings were spent doing “homework”. Yes, the pay was good but not when you looked at it on the number of hours spent working per month. When my manager said “Just sell them another DSL” what she was saying was to just say the customer wanted it (lie). We all know what that leads to eventually.
It took me several months to find another position and it paid less but I was convicted to take it. It was working for a contractor for that major phone company and I learned that the same problems were there only we were the “red headed step child”. I went to work for a competitor to the big phone company only to learn that sales that used to be easy to come by were becoming much harder. So I kept looking. I wanted something that was honoring to God and made a profit for businesses or saved them money.
Since then it has been a two year saga but I went from selling website design and SEO (search engine optimization) to working from home doing on my own. One time my father-in-law asked me if I had made plans to will my body to science. This year I made as little as $300 per month to $2,400 this month and next year should be even better. Through it all God has made sure the bills were paid and while I have had to work long hours I’ve been at home to take care of my wife through her surgery. More later.
Encourage the men that because they are competent and God has “got their back” that God has a better life for them if they will use their heads and trust God.
Greetings Dale,
I appreciate your reading of the post. Your comments bring up a number of issues that are worthy of 33′s attention: honoring God in the work place, ethical dilemmas in the work place, the place of conscience in the work place, how to care for your wife in desperate times. I could go on.
What I tried to do in my post was to encourage parents to parent, even when they don’t want to. Because of pressures from within and/or without (sin and/or circumstances), we all, for various reasons, struggle to be faithful in shepherding our kids’ hearts in the day-in and day-out. No matter what life-issues we may face (laziness, tiredness, the boss pressuring us to make ungodly business decisions, a boss threatening to take away our job, the hope of moving up the corporate ladder for good or bad reasons, long seasons of unemployment, or the responsibility of leading kingdoms, etc.), God calls all Christian parents to godly parenting (see Eph 6:4 for one of the many examples). No Christian parent is exempt. And we, in each of our individual situations and pressures, have unique opportunities to display and demonstrate the faithful love of Christ to our children.
Dale, you’ve certainly brought up some great topics- like knowing what jobs God wants us to leave. And it seems like you, along with others I know, and the many more out there, have chosen to stand for honoring God in the workplace! Good for you! It reminds us all of who should have our final allegiance!